Don't Let Your Hot Girl Summer Die!
Two months ago, when rap artist Megan Thee Stallion dropped the term Hot Girl Summer, it didn’t take long for the concept to go viral. Thousands of millennials posted photos with the hashtag hotgirlsummer, as they captured the best ways to live their lives during these hot summer days. Regardless of whether or not you agree with Megan’s song lyrics, what is undeniable is the amount of influence she has had on what living a life of confidence should look like this summer. Having a “hot girl summer” essentially became a movement about women unapologetically owning and enjoying being their most authentic selves.
As single women, it can be easy to get caught up in what other people are doing and how they are living, based on what is fed to us via pictures and posts. Some of you may have even gotten swept up in the hot summer girl craze yourselves. However, much more than what can be captured in a photo is required to live a life of confidence. At the heart of true confidence is a relationship with Christ. To embrace what it means to unapologetically live an authentic life, we have to first know who God says we are and believe it! There is no better time to find your voice and live your purpose than today.
That being said, it’s important to note that we should be careful. We are not called to look like the world. Not everything that the world says is okay should be acceptable to us. We are called, however, to live an abundant life, and I believe that Megan might have given some of us the wake-up call that was needed to embrace a shift in mindset in redefining what an abundant life should look like for single women.
Below, I’ve listed three qualities we need to cultivate in our lives in order for us to walk in confidence as single women of faith:
Self-Acceptance
When King David stated in Psalm 139:14 that he was fearfully and wonderfully made, he wasn’t just talking about himself. We all are fearfully and wonderfully made, and that includes you. Not the “you” after you lose 15 pounds or the “you” you’ll become after you are married. The scripture is talking about you, right now. God took His time in creating each and every one of us, including all of our quirks, imperfections, and mistakes. The key to confidence lies in us accepting and loving ourselves… period!
Self-acceptance helps us to be able to say, “I may not be who I want to be, but I’m loving and embracing who I am right here and now.” Self-acceptance is not about perfection; it’s about boldly sharing our true selves with those around us. Accepting and being grounded in who you are is a mandatory precursor to dating and marriage, because it will determine what you will tolerate from those around you. A woman who thinks well of herself won’t let others treat her less than her worth. Check your self-talk and affirm the positive in yourself daily. Keep doing the growth work needed for you to be fully able to love the skin you are in!
Don’t Settle
The issue of accepting yourself directly affects what you will choose to accept from others. Let me explain. If you have a poor sense of self-worth, when it comes to receiving opportunities or engaging in relationships, you will never feel that you deserve the best. You will settle for whatever you can get, because you think that is the best you can do. Unfortunately, what we tend to settle for is often less than God’s best.
When we settle, we miss out on receiving God’s promise to do exceedingly and abundantly above all we ask or think (Ephesians 3:20). Do you trust that He will fulfill this promise in your life? Then don’t settle for what is; believe that better is on the way! God’s timing is always perfect. You and I both can rest assured in that. Examine your heart for any fear that may be keeping you from fully trusting God. When you get to the root of your fear, you can begin to let it go and allow your confidence in God to grow. He is no stranger to blowing our minds and blessing us beyond measure.
Set Boundaries
If you haven’t learned to use the word “no” this summer, you need to! Learn it, say it, and live it! Having healthy boundaries helps to inform others on what makes us feel uncomfortable or unsafe, and what is unacceptable to us. In order to live a confident life that lasts long after the hot girl summer mantra has faded, we need to experience a mindset-shift (Romans 12:2). Rule of thumb: if it brings you stress instead of peace, then it’s time to re-evaluate and set limits. We have to be able to say no when we need to and not be afraid to take the time to care for ourselves. It doesn’t make us selfish.
Growing in confidence also requires that we learn that God did not create us to be superheroes. Having healthy boundaries helps us to live our lives with the understanding that we cannot save everyone else. Living a life of service does not require that we give endlessly and tirelessly to others while neglecting ourselves. You cannot pour into someone else if you are emotionally, spiritually, and physically depleted. Take the time you need to fill up your tank too. Don’t just wait until next summer to take time out to relax and enjoy life; do it today. Do it every day.
Your single season will come with many lessons. Many of these lessons are meant to build your confidence in Christ and yourself. What you affirm daily will shape how you live and what you believe about yourself. As the season changes from summer to fall and then to winter, don’t let go of living your best confident life. Self-acceptance, not settling, and setting boundaries are some tools to help you continue living a confident life year-round. It’s easy to snap and post a pic. The real work comes from doing the inner work needed to heal, live in purpose, and confidently accept who you are in Christ. In this way, the hot girl summer can move from concept to lifestyle.
Your sister in Waiting,
Journal Questions:
One of the keywords in this summer’s catchphrase is “hot”. Sometimes when we see this word we immediately disqualify ourselves from participating. As part of developing your self-acceptance, list 5 traits about yourself that make you a hot girl.
Do you believe that you are worth the best that God has to offer? Have you settled for less than His best? Take some time to work through releasing those areas to God.
What are some ways that you can live your best life every day?