Creating, Committing, and Practicing Our Best Selves by Ms. Christal Brown
Photo by Jonathan Hsu
My name is Christal Brown. I am 40 years old, a woman of faith, and a single parent. I am also an entrepreneur and professor, and for the last 31 years of my life, I have been a dancer. My career as a dancer has given me the skills to create beauty and meaning through movement. While most people only see the outcome of my work through the performance, the true work lies in the creation, verification, and rehearsal of the ideas I want to convey. The performance is merely a hint of the process of discovery I’ve undergone.
Creation
Whether we assign ourselves the title of artist or not, we are all creative beings. Whether we use our creative energy to solve problems, bring people together, or manage a household, we all have a unique way of utilizing our gifts. As a dancer/choreographer, I develop ideas into movement, and then I use that language to illuminate important concepts and ideas. Although audiences may not completely understand my movement, that does not deter me from moving. In fact, my desire to communicate my concept urges me to move with deeper clarity, intention, and intelligence. In order to achieve my goal of communication, I need to look at the concept I am trying to express from as many vantage points as possible in order to verify my perspective.
Verification
We all have history, and we bring it with us into each moment. In the creative process, history plays an important role in teaching us where our biases are. For example, I was raised in a household with a father who had lost both his legs in Vietnam. If I were to investigate the concept of war, my perspective would be affected by the impact that war had on my father and my family. Therefore, the verification process is one of understanding how we know what we know.
Throughout my dance career I have understood that my feelings and emotions may lead me to different conclusion than my experience and research. Instead of focusing on how to prove to one element of my consciousness that the other is right, I investigate the gap. By asking God to help me fill in the space between what I perceive to be right and wrong, I find what is real. I then reconcile with the reality that my first perspectives are not warranted and the conclusions of others feel fraudulent on my body.
Indeed, if you call out for insight and cry aloud for understanding, and if you look for it as for silver
and search for it as for hidden treasure,
then you will understand the fear of the Lord
and find the knowledge of God.
For the Lord gives wisdom; from his mouth come knowledge and understanding.
This is where the hard work of rehearsal begins.
Rehearsal
If you are not a dancer, you may envision a rehearsal process as a place where dancers run through their routines over and over until they have reached some sort of perfection. In actuality, the rehearsal process is one of discovery. I liken rehearsal rooms to laboratories. The root word of laboratory is labor; the physical activity involved in giving birth. The physical act of investigating an idea from various perspectives and unearthing fresh understanding is the hardest and most fruitful part of my work.
As I enter a rehearsal process, I am often fearful that my ideas are incomplete, my research is shallow, the dancers are not interested in the concept, or that the performance will not be well received. This anxiety fuels my goal to make the work clear, intentional, and intelligent. I achieve this goal by making choices. Choices force me to investigate one perspective deeply before allowing it to be a part of the finished work. Going deep requires that I commit to each question and the pursuit of its resolution, regardless of my personal bias or desired result. Remaining in a state of open-mindedness requires me to suspend judgment and trust the process; not myself, my own ability, or my history.
So, what does this have to do with you?
Well, like I said, we are all creative beings with unique gifts, talents, and pursuits. You may not be a choreographer, but you have something you’re making, and that something is you. Once we have received an idea of whom God has created us to be, we essentially go about the task of “creating” ourselves each day. Each day we wake up and costume our bodies, we engage in interactions with others that reflect our values or beliefs, and we practice answering the questions we find in the gap between who we are and who we know God wants us to become. The process of creating the person we are to be has a series of performances that put our self-perception on display. These performances can be as small as intimate conversations and as large as public failures. In each instance, the steps we have rehearsed in our process of growth and discovery will be what we perform for the world. So, I would encourage you to take great care with the steps you create. Take your labor seriously and investigate every option before you make a choice that may define your future. And as you grace the stage of life, perform each movement with clarity, intention, and intelligence knowing that God is right by your side
-In Motion
Christal
About the Author
Christal Brown is a mother, artist, educator and disciple originally from Kinston, NC. Christal's love for people and passion for growth has allowed her to blend her artistic practice and pedagogy into Steps and Stages Coaching; a dream-building and life coaching practice centered around assessing our gifts, creating value, and pursuing purpose.
In addition to her practice, Christal serves as the Chair of Dance at Middlebury College. For more info visit https://christalbrown.com/coaching